I'm very, very impulsive, and though I make rational choices when I have to, I start getting irritable when it's not what I want. I am very aware of this, but have such a hard time with it.
I'll try to explain. For one thing, I'm bulimic. I restrict, until I need to eat and then I eat everything in sight. No control, especially when it comes to stopping a binge from starting. I can't just not do it sometimes. If I don't, I turn into a crazy woman. Seriously, I get short tempered, irrational, and can only focus on when I can binge next without anyone knowing.
I used to drink way, way too much but I've sinced stopped (4months now) because I was killing myself. I had to detox, it was pretty bad. So I have no control with alcohol.
If someone is unpleasant with me, I have a really hard time being nice to them (I work in customer service, I need to be no matter what!). By nature, I'm excessively nice, too, so my reaction to short/curt people is pretty significant. I just get really quiet, the niceness just can't come out with these people.
I'm pretty impulsive with guys and sex.
When little (really little) things go wrong, my temper flares up. When I think someone's mad at me (90% of the time it's all in my head) I get flustered and unfocused and can't perform well until I know everything is ok.
Basically, if things aren't exactly how I am my emotions go haywire. I know I';m emotionally unstable, is there anything I can do to help this?? I do DBT distress tolerance skills but they're not really helpful.I have no self control. How can I learn to not need instant gratification?
sweetheart, u need professional help. it will be hard, but if u truly want to get out of this situation, u will pull thru. good luck. please keep us updated.
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