GF wnts no condoms no birth control and no kids?!? WTF do I do?

I moved to Texas a few months back, and met the girl of my dreams. I just left the military starting a new career and a new life. I love this girl so much and she feels the same way about me. When we make love she does not want to use condoms, they take away some of the pleasure, she refuses to use birth control, she does want kids but not now, I have full custody of my daughter and do want another later but NOT NOW, I am not ready, but I do want to continue making love to her, she expects me to pull out, which is fine and sure it helps, but its still no a good practice of safe sex. There is no male birth control available yet, what should I do? Are there atleast any over the counter products to make my sperm a little more sterile and less fertile? Anything or any advice would be greatly appreciated!! Thanks in advance





JoshGF wnts no condoms no birth control and no kids?!? WTF do I do?
Stop having sex with her until she gets birth control. You've made up your mind that you dont want another child right now.





If you continue to have sex with her, she WILL get pregnant.





Seems like she's trying to get pregnant.





Just refuse until she's on birthcontrol.





Nuvaring works well. And so does the IUD (if she's got a problem with swallowing pills)GF wnts no condoms no birth control and no kids?!? WTF do I do?
Honestly I'd be careful with this one. I've known woman like this ';that didn't want kids at the moment'; only to accidentally on purpose get pregnant thus trapping the poor guy.





Now I don't know you or the love of your life and I am not trying to say anything bad about either of you. I am only saying to be careful.
You could check into spermicides, but i can't remember if they pulled those off the market or not. what about gettin her an IUD? it cost a little more, unless your insurance will cover it. It will not release hormones into her system, and it last for five years. You can have it removed if you decide to get pregnant before that time. I have one and love it. I too didn't like condoms, or the BC, but the IUD was a great option for us. It's a simple in office at a gyno to insert (or remove) it. Best of luck!
Well, she needs to start tracking her ovulation and cut out sex two weeks out of the month pretty much... or she needs to get some form of birth control... or you guys will be expecting soon.





Tell her to get an IUD or IUS. They can stay in for five years and you do not have to worry about regularly taking a pill or using something. I highly suggest Mirena IUS.





HTH





Animalcrackers247
Wow, Josh, I'm sorry. If you use the POOT (Pull out on time) method, there is still a chance at pre-ejac getting her pregnant. If she doesn't want to get pregnant and doesn't want to use birth control, sorry, but maybe you shouldn't sleep with her. I hope things work out, but this just kinda sucks.
Get some spermicidal lube. It helps tremendously. She may not need the lube, but the spermicide will do wonders. I would use some at the beginning and add some more halfway through to make sure. If you are pulling out, there is nothing in there but precum and the lube will take care of that.
What does she have against birth control? I don't know of any other method you could use to prevent pregnancy. Pull out method IS NOT 100% effective, I got pregnant the first time using that. Hmm, I can't help but think that maybe your girlfriend does secretly want to get pregnant.
I'm not sure what you could do, but she could look into FAM. By charting her temperatures, she will know exactly when she ovulated and when it is safe to have sex without getting pregnant.
they have like spermicide luberication. but i dont know how effective it is....the pull out method does not work. be real careful and i hope that i helped you a bit. sit her down and explain to her she needs to understand and respect your feelings.
Try vaginal contaceptive films or foam, some type of spermicide, or have her get on the depo shot or nuva ring or something of the sorts that way she doesn't have to remember the pill.
Just avoid the middle of her cycle. If she has a 30 day cycle, just avoid around the 13th to 17th day. If she has a regular cycle every month, she should know when she ovulates.
Don't have sex with her unless she uses protection.
spermicide
I don't know if they make it... but you could try looking for spermicidal lubricant?
Sorry to say, you guys are kind of playing w/ fire in this situation. If you don't use any kind of protection than you are increasing the chances of pregnancy.


There are so many different kinds of condoms out there that will not take aware from the pleasure. There are also different lubricants (KY yours and mine, or warming lubricant). You can also look into spermicidal lubricants, which will kill sperm.


Is she against all birth control, or just the pill? There are other kinds of birth control, there is the patch, or an IUC (intra uterine contraceptive), like Mirena which lasts for up to 5 years, but can be removed sooner if you want to get pregnant. She can also you a diaphragm.


You guys really need to sit down and discuss this and find a workable solution. You need to be using some kind of birth control method in order to prevent pregnancy.


And the withdrawl (pull out) method will only work for so long...trust me.


Again, just sit down and discuss things with her. If she is not willing to use any kind of birth control, then you will have to tell her that you don't want another child right now, and since there is no male birth control available in pill form, that leaves you with using a condom. Tell her that you are willing to try different kinds until you find one that she is comfortable with, but that you want to practice safe sex.





Good luck






';she expects me to pull out';


This girl is an idiot. If you're going to have sex with her, wear a condom. There is no difference in feeling for a girl, trust me.





Do not keep pulling out. She will get pregnant.


Do not just use spermicide. She will get pregnant.


Do not try the ';temperature'; or cycle method. She will get pregnant.





If she's not willing to take any form of birth control (there are so many kinds; more than just taking a pill everyday, that she can use. Do you even know if she knows about these?) then you're gonna have to wrap it up.


For example, she can get shots, wear a patch, have something inserted into her cervix, wear the Nuvaring (she can take it out for a few hours for sex!), et cetera. But looking for ways that make you ';less'; fertile does not do anything. It only takes one to fertilize an egg.
Pull out is no bc method sweetie... all of Africa uses it, and the average number of pregnancies per woman in Kenya is 13, 9 live births, and 5 make it to age one.





Sex = babies, and it takes just one swimmer.





You decide... be a daddy to a baby or two before you bail out of this relatonship, or find yourself another lady.... this one is trying to trap you with crap, sorry, hon.








And the trap will cost you $250,000 buckos for a baby you don't yet want. If you are 20, you get out from under the financial responsibility when you are 38 --- pushing middle age with a short stick.





That averages about $1000 per month... a bit less in the beginning, a bit more as the kid ages. Two of them will about destroy any retirement plans to have.





Smarten up, honey. Don't let this lady trap you....wear a condom. If she doesn't like it, make sure she's had the shot, or an implant... make sure. See her get that shot, or see the implant put in. This is a real game with some women, and she just might lie to you... and she wouldn't be the first.
Personally, I think she is setting you up for more than a few potentially serious problems in your relationship. Is she morally against birth control, or does she not like side effects associated with the pill/patch/ring? If it's just she doesn't like taking the medication, then contraceptive foam/jelly is an option. She should respect your decision to use some type of contraceptive...just as I assume you would respect hers if your positions were reversed. Otherwise I think it is time for some relationship counselling, there needs to be some sort of compromise in this situation for the two of you.
There's nothing over the counter that you can use to make you less fertile, and if there was it would probably be lasting and you might not be able to have kids ever again. I think she is either A) trying to become pregnant ';accidentally'; even though she really wants to get pregnant or B) just doesn't give a damn and doesn't care if she gets pregnant repeatedly she will just keep having abortions. You've only known her for a few months, so you probably don't know her all that well. I'm not saying you don't love her, and I'm not saying she doesn't love you, but if she refuses to have sex with you with any form of protection, but doesn't want to get pregnant, than she's got some serious issues. You will get her pregnant from the pull out method, you will get her pregnant no matter what you do without protection, you can even possibly get her pregnant USING protection! But there's less chance of that. And please, using a condom really doesn't make it feel any different for us at all, and if she's so in tune with her vagina then she would know that ribbed condoms actually give more pleasure to the woman. So, you either stop having sex with her, or be prepared for baby # 2. Good luck.
Spermicide.





She may also want to consider having an Inter-Uterine Device like Mirena placed inside. They last for a good 5 years and more. Though they can be a little uncomfortable, they are about 99% effective in preventing pregnancy.





Only thing that can happen is an ectopic pregnancy - a pregnancy inside of the fallopian tube, and these are rare.





She will need a doctors prescription for it though. But it is a safe bet against unwanted pregnancy if she does not want you to use condoms, and if she doesn't want to go on the pill.
Sounds like she wants to get pregnant and then blame it on you. You didn't pull out fast enough so this is your fault. Like others have said she will get pregnant. She should be taking responsibility for her own birth control. There is a reason she doesn't want to use condoms. She could be latex sensitive. I am and I have to use non-latex ones. They are called Avanti by Durex. You will have to find them, usually in adult stores and they are pricey. Cheaper than a baby though. If she still refuses, well then no sex. Sorry man but one of you has to be responsible.
You can tell her to get the depo shot which is done once a month but it can increase her risk of miscarriage later when she DOES want to have kids and that'll be hard on her. She should talk to her doc about it first.





You know there are thousands of types of condoms, right? If she's fixed that condoms take away pleasure, try a different kind like lubricated or ribbed (ribbed usually increases pleasure for females)





Or just add more things into your sex life besides penetration, like vibrators and toys and oral sex. Sounds like she's a little too focused on intercourse cuz shes taking a huge, huge risk by not using any form of birth control.