It seems I have no self control?

It just seems that I have no self control. I haven't always been this way. I cheated on my husband, felt horrible about it, told him 2 years later. We are now divorced, not because of that, other reasons that would take to long to tell. I have been divorced for 6 months now and it seems that no matter what I do, I go out to play pool or to have a couple of drinks and it turns into many drinks and I usually end up kissing other men or going home with them. I have actually only gone home with one but I still end up screwing around. I dont know what my issue is and i dont know how to stop it. I know that this just sounds like I'm a stupid ho but I'm not. I just need some help. i'm scared to death.It seems I have no self control?
Women can play the field too!


Whatever your doing is not that unusual...actually it's kinda hot.


Be you. Accept the things you like. Enjoy the fun and some day you may decide to settle.


If not, so what?





Best wishes.It seems I have no self control?
My guess is that the alcohol is the root of the problem. It makes you lose your inhibitions and then you end up doing stuff that you regret. Perhaps you should stop drinking when you go out, or find a better place to hang out. Maybe you feel like you were missing out on playing the field during the time you were married and subconsciously you are trying to catch up or something. Wouldn't hurt to talk to a therapist about it.
You're just lonely, scared and insecure about your future. I did the same thing after I ended a long term relationship, going to the bar every night, getting wasted and hooking up with some random guy, and waking up the next morning feeling dirty and hating myself. Eventually I got control. I suggest not going to a drinking establishment anymore, and finding another more constructive hobby, like going back to school, or joining a club, or something.
I suspect that you don't like yourself that much. Your fear is well founded as it is the opposite of love. If a man were looking for a woman with self-respect, self-esteem, integrity, and self-worth, he would not choose you. These qualities are no exclusive of going out amd having a good time. The next time you want to go out, spend some time from the source listed below.
It probably is a reaction to your marrage ending. Wanna feel loved? Needed? And you always get guys when drunk maybe you feel more confident? Either way it doesn't sound good.


Why not try and not have a drink? Drive down and then you can't drink! Or tell yourself only to have 1 drink and then you will get yourself that top you have been eyeing up?


You don't want a rep so i say stop the drink!
If you are a Christian, seek God for help. If you are not, seek God for help. You will change only when you're ready. Stay focused on the better things. A temporary moment of pleasure forces you to be hurt internally forever! So remember that. And no guy is going to sleep with you on the first night. When you go out, try not to drink. Or have one and be done. If you feel like you're wanting to kiss someone, LEAVE! You have to choose, your happiness, or his nut? Seriously...
youre not a ho or anything you are just really stressed or hurt it seems. i wish you luck and i suggest counceling or having a budy partner system like a beat friend who goes to the bar with you and makes sure you dont get to hot and heavy or leave with men.
Wow. You're really not a good person. At least you got a divorce and didn't put him through that anymore. No one deserves a smut for a wife. That's just pathetic, and explains why women get treated like garbage nowadays, because some of them deserve it.
Maybe you need to stop drinking. It seems like that is what makes your decision making go out the window. Its ok to go out and have fun, but try without the alcohol and see what happens.
You may need to see a sex therapist for advice. I seen a movie on Lifetime about this and the woman ended up going to Sex Anonymous class with others addicted to sex, sex, and more sex.
Just don't let it get to you. Maybe you just have not found the right person to spend the rest of your life with.
i think you just need to find other ways to occupy your time....(honestly, kissing around wouldnt bother me if i was single) your not married, go have fun!
I don't know, you sound like a ho to me
So, what's your poison? Don't worry its on me.
u might have some unresolved issues.


go see a psychotherapist.
I'm not a therapist, but it sounds like you're trying to find some kind of acceptance through men. I grew up without a strong male role model. I was wild in my teenage years until I survived a fatal car accident, was sexually assaulted by a friend, and dated a few abusive guys. I finally gained self-respect. I'm actually seeing a therapist to get some closure on my past. I would strongly recommend the same for you. They bring valid points to your attention to give you the tools to work past whatever issues you are struggling with. Good luck to you. Oh, don't beat yourself up. It will only make you feel worse about yourself. It sounds like you see the right path in by knowing what the problem is. Keep going in that direction to fix it.
First of all there is absolutely nothing wrong with U ... U R just a very sensual woman. U probably love bubble baths, good smelling food, romantic music ... U R just normal girlfriend. But.. the 1st thing U have to learn to do is to keep UR mouth shut!! Never, ever tell!! NEVER!! Remember the song ';that's' my story and I'm sticking to it';... so once U get UR loose lips under control U have to control UR drinking... buy Shirley Temples' ... no one knows ... or a beer shanty, 50/50 beer %26amp; ginger ale.. Tastes great!!Now 3rdly.. if U put yourself in a Pool Hall, leaning over the table, with UR ';tush'; sticking out... what do U expect girl?? Men R Men.. they have a one track mind... straight to the bedroom... so unless U want to be known as the ';one night wonder';.. get in control!! Find another sport - go bowling... don't drink.. or at least drink in moderation... and only occasionally.. remember girlfriend.. everything, everything U do today becomes a memory when U R older... make them good girlfriend . U won't regret it...
In no more than you have said, there are two problem areas that you need o consider; the first one is where you go, as bars, pool rooms and such are where people go to seek others that like to do the things that are bothering you when you do them.





The other problem is the drinking! alcohol or any other kind of drug causes people to do things they don't really want to do.





A good Christian counselor could be a big help to you as I am sure that there are many other unsolved problems in your life that need to be dealt with.





Look in your phone book under Southern Baptist or Independent Baptist churches and call one of their Pastors; he should be able to direct you to someone who can help you.





My e mail is open if you would like more information.





Greybeard
Talk to someone you trust - preferably a friend or family member. Someone who loves you, knows you for you, but it also willing to not sugar coat the truth.


You've realized your weakness' (we all have em! so don't swear that!) so now face up to them.





Like I said, talk to somebody you trust, who can give you an outside perspective, who isn't afraid to tell you the truth of what they think of you and your actions, but still loves you at the end of the day!





Your friends and family are here to help you through tough situations like this, they're not there to judge you!!


Good luck!
A couple of issues popped into my mind, one, you have very low self esteem. Second, your behavior is very self destructive. It's as if you are trying to punish yourself, for something you feel really bad about.


I don't think you will find those kind of answers on here, but if I may, I would suggest, you get professional help,


I know that can be expensive, but I'm sure if you look around, and do some research, you may be able to find some low cost or free, therapy.


You are heading down a dangerous path, so it's no wonder you are scared to death. Something is driving you, and you need to find out, what the underlying cause is. So perhaps you need to sit down, with yourself and see what it is, that is causing this kind of behavior.


This isn't the real you, or you wouldn't be worried about being some kind of ';Ho';, so you need to find who and what you are.


good luck. At least you have taken the first step and understand you do have a big problem.
You seem to have some issues about self-confidence and self-image. Confident people with good self-images don't get drunk and act silly.





You don't have confidence, so you get drunk and then seek approval from other men by getting them to show desire for you. Clearly, this isn't a positive or safe way to deal with your issues.





Firstly, with any behavior problem, you need to stay away from places and people that encourage that bad behavior. If that means you lose certain friends or stop going to certain places, so be it.





Secondly, you need to get to know yourself better and why you seem to have self-confidence and self-image issues. Read books or seek professional help. I don't know you well enough to help you there.





Thirdly, find different things to do that will address your self-confidence issues by bettering yourself. Take courses, contribute your time to charities, spend more time with family, take up a sport or hobby, ...





You're not alone. Many people reach a certain place in their life where they don't feel all that good about themselves and excitement or happiness becomes hard to find. You just need to relax and take some time to find yourself again.
well the first signs to recovery is identifying the problem. You do have self control issues and i highly recommend you talk to someone you trust or a counselor. It also may be that you are not ready to settle down but i also do think it's not right for a person to be so wild regardless of whether or not they want to be committed. You see, it seems as if you are dealing with some insecurities or a lack of something in your life, maybe direction and it shows by your lack of controlling your urges. Please think and realize that these things wil come back and haunt you and i want you to know that these men will not respect you the way you want them to.





Love thy self.
you a slut